Posted on by Californiacontrarian

Breakfast … Scrambled?

A younger friend and I try to go out to breakfast about once a month or so. While I usually order the “big breakfast” with eggs, sausage, potatoes, and toast, my friend typically will get a bagel. We each have coffee, and for years have always gotten separate checks.

Last week we again met for breakfast, but whereas I ordered my usual “big breakfast,” my friend surprisingly told the waitress that he also wanted the “big breakfast,” with his eggs scrambled.

After we finished, our separate checks came. When my buddy leaned over and glanced at my check, he said, “How come your check total is less than mine? We each had the same thing except that your eggs were ‘over-easy’ and mine were ‘scrambled’.”

To that I responded, “Because I am 65, actually 66, I get the senior discount.”

While my friend’s expression conveyed that he was not happy, he furrowed his brow as if in deep thought, and said, “I want to be 65!”

He then called our waitress over, and told her that he also wanted the senior discount. Because my friend is only around fifty, she asked to look at his driver’s license. At this point he said, “It doesn’t matter what my license says. These days it apparently doesn’t matter to some what their driver’s license or their birth certificate says. As of right now, I am changing my age. It’s my right to choose what age I am.”

The waitress was clearly flummoxed, and called her boss over. “This guy says he is over sixty-five and clearly he isn’t. He doesn’t act like he’s sixty-five. He doesn’t look like he is sixty-five, and moreover I’ll bet that his license will not document that he is sixty-five.”

The boss then said to my friend, “¿Tu respuesta?”

My friend paused, but only momentarily, “This is America. It’s my right to choose what age I want to be. On some days I might feel much older than I did the day before. Certainly, if teenagers and young adults can choose to be whatever gender they want, then certainly I can choose what age I want to be. At least I have already reached the age of reason, and since there are no pills, shots, or surgery, as of right now … I am sixty-five. Comprende?

12/20/21

California Contrarian

122 Replies to “Breakfast … Scrambled?”

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