The latest headline out of San Francisco, the location of the headquarters of Twitter:
“Twitter Employees Decide to Outbid Musk for Control of Twitter!”
Most of the present Twitter employees are all in a twitter over the seemingly fait accompli of Elon Musk assuming control of Twitter.
Overheard on the Twitter campus were the following:
“We certainly could not be expected to move to Texas, could we? How could I live if I were a Texan?”
“Is this going to mean that we will actually have to allow conservative posts? How unfair is that?”
“My anxiety level is overflowing. What if Trump is allowed back on the platform? I just couldn’t live with that!”
After consulting with their group psychiatrist, the employees of Twitter have decided to attempt to outbid Elon Musk for control of Twitter. An inside source has said that the employee plan is really quite simple … they are going to elicit a $10 contribution from all of those who voted for Joe Biden in 2020. Since over 70 million voted for Biden, the employees figured that with a measly $10 from each Biden voter, they could accumulate enough to outbid Musk and thus regain control of their beloved company.
Again, from an inside source, there is one big problem with this plan … namely the three main groups that voted for J.B. in November 2020 will be questionable contributors to their present plan.
First: dead people do not have $10 to give.
Second: Most of those Alzheimer’s patients in nursing homes cannot sign their names; an X will not suffice on the bottom line of a check.
Third: Even in San Francisco, the usual $20 “donation” to the homeless to vote for B is just not going to work in order for them to chip in $10 for the cause!
Back to the drawing board!
4/30/22