Posted on by Californiacontrarian

“Hello . . . Newman!”


The Democrats are promoting “vote by mail” in this year’s November Presidential election. To my way of thinking this can only add mass confusion and uncertainty to the results, and sad to say that this is their hope.

My mailman is a hard-working guy, and I am sure that he is honest, however in general when I think about a generic mailman, I think of Newman, the mail carrier on the Seinfeld TV show in the nineties.

Anyone who ever has watched Seinfeld remembers Jerry saying, “Hello . . . Newman.” (I believe that he said that a total of seventeen times during the entire series.)

Newman lived in Jerry’s building and delivered mail in NYC. Jerry Seinfeld and Newman did not get along, but for some reason in one episode, Newman—angling for a transfer to Hawaii, the most coveted route for all postal carriers—is discovered to be hiding bag upon bag of undelivered mail in Jerry’s storage locker. He needs to get his delivery rate up and can’t possibly complete his route every day because “the mail never stops…it just keeps coming and coming… “

Jerry takes Newman’s route for a day, and the following lines from that episode sum up some of my concern with mail-in voting.

Newman : Too many people got their mail. Close to 80%. Nobody’s ever cracked the 50% barrier.

Jerry : I tried my best!

Newman : *Exactly*. You’re a disgrace to the uniform.

[Newman rips USPS patch off of the coat that Jerry is wearing.]

Jerry : You know, this is your coat.

Newman : [looks at torn patch]  Damn

I can hear many of you libs chortling that certainly nothing similar could ever happen in real life. . . . Really!

.In April, 2016, the Washington Post reported that approximately 25 trash bags worth of undelivered mail had been found “in two catch basins at Anacostia Avenue NE and Douglas Street NE.” DC. The Who, the Why, and the How of this apparent mail “misplacement” was never explained.

I can still hear many of you libs saying that 2016 was I long time ago, and nothing like that could ever happen now. . . . Really!

The USPS is now launching an investigation into bags of mail being dumped in two different locations in Glendale, California, a suburb of Los Angeles.

One of the instances was caught on a surveillance camera outside of a spa. A Budget rental truck can be seen backing up before a man jumps out and unloads the bags of mail and boxes.

There are other recent instances of Newmanesque-like skullduggery in Tehachapi, Ca. and also inside a massive mail-sorting facility in South Los Angeles, where workers fell so far behind processing packages that by early August, gnats and rodents were swarming around containers of rotted fruit and meat, and baby chicks were dead inside their boxes.

Hmmm!

To close, another few memorable Newman lines:

Newman: You see, certified mail is always registered, but registered mail is not necessarily certified.

Newman’s Girlfriend : I could listen to you talk all day about mail.

Newman : I’ll tell you a little secret about zip codes: they’re meaningless

However this the most prescient Newman line that is a key when it comes to voting by mail:

“Just remember when you control the mail, you control . . . Information!”

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