Posted on by Californiacontrarian

Dear California

On 6/30/17 our local newspaper printed an op-ed article in the form of a letter written by “California” addressed to “U.S.A.” on its birthday. In this letter California comes down hard on The U.S.A. –  essentially totally shifting blame for its quirky ideas onto the more responsible party. Although I did not agree with the point of view of the author, I thought that it was cleverly written (albeit probably with his left hand).

What if California and U.S.A. were real people? Would U.S.A. respond to the original letter?   Probably, yes. Would U.S.A. respond by tweeting?  Probably,no. I think that U.S.A. would respond to the comments of California in a gentle, almost paternalistic rebuttal type of letter, and it would go something like this:

Dear California,

I just received your lengthy and somewhat rambling letter on this my 241st birthday. I am sure that you did not mean any disrespect even as you were telling me that I was going through a nasty meltdown. The missus was a little taken aback by your tone, but I assured her that you were just going through a phase similar to puberty. I agree that we have been drifting apart, but to claim that it is solely due to my midlife crisis, is a bit simplistic, don’t you think? Surely, even you cannot think that all of your spouting off about sanctuary cities and not doing what the constitution says is anything other than classic passive aggressive behavior. In addition the “I’m right and I am not going to listen to you” attitude sounds as if you are seven years old, although to me I’ll bet that it’s your hormones getting the best of you!

You also mentioned that I have turned against things I, the U.S.A., used to love. Perhaps it is the drugs out there on the left coast, but you forgot some key elements in almost all of the following accusatory hallucinations about things “that I used to love”:

Immigration – I have not turned against immigration, but rather I have turned against illegal immigration!

Trade – I am not against trade, but I am against trade deals in which I, the U.S.A.,is getting screwed, and our ‘trade deal’ with South Korea is next up for a critical evaluation.

International Alliances – Things are actually looking up as President Trump has met with more foreign leaders in six months than the prior president did in the last four years.

Voting Rights – What I am against is non-citizens voting. It is very interesting that the Trump team is having a very difficult time getting the actual voting data in states with Democratic governors!  Why is that?

Women’s Rights – I hope that you have noticed that President Trump has a very capable woman in his Cabinet and also at the U.N. I am a bit perplexed that I am not hearing any comments from you on the rights of women living in Moslem Countries compared to the rights of women living here.

Infrastructure – President Trump just set up a committee to work on fixing our infrastructure in the U.S.A. Correct me if I am wrong but didn’t you, California, just have to finagle  a new gas tax on your citizens, despite the fact that your governor had promised not to raise taxes without a vote of the people. These new taxes all in the name of repairing your infrastructure, as the previous funds to fix your infrastructure seem to have vanished into your smog.

Treating People with Respect – I guess your Hollywood elites have not gotten the message that everyone needs to be treated with respect, starting with President Trump!

While you have always been an independent child, your pouting does nothing to benefit our family unit. I have known for years that your rebellious streak would eventually get you in trouble, but isn’t your verbally striking out against the others in our family taking your recalcitrance just a bit too far?  Granted you have always had a vivid imagination, but now your interpretation of reality on things like “only citizens being allowed to vote” and “legal” immigration appears to be in la-la land!

I still love you, and I will try to continue to be tolerant of your tantrums as I recognize the telltale effects of adolescent hormones. However I do hope that you come to your senses soon, because my patience is being stretched thin.

With love,

The United States of America

 

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