Posted on by Californiacontrarian

COP(Out)26


The COP26 Climate Conference in Glasgow is over. In their quest to save the planet from greenhouse gases, the top brass of the different countries traveled to Scotland for COP26 and in doing so generated a staggering amount of emissions by using their private planes for the trip. It was reported that over 400 private planes flew to Glasgow … in other words instead of Zooming, over 400 world leaders zoomed by private jets to Glasgow, and then, of course zoomed home.

I cannot truthfully say that I followed much of went on after Joe Biden fell asleep during the pre-recorded message from South African activist Eddie Ndopu. However, I did catch some of the important points:

-Narendra Modi of India promised that India will achieve zero emissions by 2070. (Most of us, including Mr. Modi will be long gone by 2070, but thank you, Mr. Modi, for taking one for the team!)

-Ireland will need to cull 1.3 million cattle to reach climate goals. (Rumor has it that in Ireland the eating corned beef will soon be outlawed, and most of the cows will be given birth control pills.)

-Greta Thunberg, the eighteen year old juvenile Swedish climate activist, stood outside the building where COP26 was being held and sang in English, “You can shove your climate crisis up your arse.” (Luckily right after singing, she said, “I am pleased to announce that I’ve decided to go net-zero on swear words and bad language. In the event that I should say something inappropriate I pledge to compensate for that by saying something nice.”)

Speaking of saying something nice, this is the answer given by Greta Thunberg on how to get China to decrease fossil fuel usage … 

“I would ask them.”

 (The following is a purported more detailed  interchange between a Scottish reporter and Greta T. on the same subject.)

Reporter: “Considering that China is responsible for 32.6% of the world’s fossil fuel emissions, and this percentage is increasing, how do you propose to get them to decrease their use of fossil fuels?

Greta T: “I would ask them … nicely.”

Reporter: “It seems like a dichotomy that the raw material necessary for green energy production comes almost exclusively from China, and 84% of China’s economy is run on fossil fuels. What say you on this?”

Greta T: “In Sweden only those who have gone to college would dare to use such a big word. My answer to this ‘dicot’ would be to ask them extra politely … “decrease your fossil fuel usage, pretty please!”

Reporter: “China is presently building a new coal fired plant every week. How do you respond to this?”

At this point, Greta T (obviously becoming more flustered by these continuing questions) loudly answered, “Stop your stupid-ass questions!” … then she started singing: “You can shove your climate crisis up your arse!” (Apparently this time for emphasis, she sang in both English and Swedish.)

11/6/21

www.californiacontrarian.com

133 Replies to “COP(Out)26”

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